Stop Settling: How to Actually Find a Doctor Who Gets You

You know that gut feeling when you leave a doctor’s office and think, “Well… that didn’t help much”?

Maybe they were nice enough—but you left with more questions than answers. Or maybe you felt rushed, brushed off, or like you were one of twenty patients crammed into a ten-minute slot.

If that’s you, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not crazy for wanting something better.

Finding the right doctor isn’t just about credentials—it’s about connection, philosophy, and partnership.

Here’s how to find the one who actually fits you.

1. Internal Medicine vs. Family Medicine

It starts with the basics.

Family Medicine physicians see all ages—from infants to grandparents. They’re great for families who want everyone under one roof.

Internal Medicine physicians specialize in adults. They dive deep into complex, overlapping conditions—fatigue, thyroid issues, hormone imbalances, weight, blood pressure, sleep.

If you’re an adult who wants a doctor to connect the dots instead of bouncing you between specialists, internal medicine is often a better fit.

2. Male or Female—Yes, It Matters

This isn’t about bias—it’s about comfort.

If you’re a woman dealing with hormone changes, libido, or vaginal health, you might prefer a female doctor who understands those nuances firsthand.

If you’ve had a difficult past experience with either gender, that’s valid too.

The right doctor should make you feel heard, safe, and respected. If you can’t be honest about what’s really going on, healing becomes much harder.

3. Location: Close or Convenient?

In the age of text access, telehealth, and direct care, “close by” doesn’t always mean “better.”

What matters most is accessibility.

Can you reach your doctor when you need them?

Can you text, call, or get in quickly?

Sometimes the right doctor isn’t the one next door—it’s the one who’s actually available when you’re sick.

4. Reputation and Reviews

Ask around. Who actually likes their doctor?

Word of mouth is gold—but also look for patterns in online reviews.

Do patients say “She listened,” or “He’s fast”?

Pay attention to tone, not just stars. You want a doctor whose patients feel cared for, not just efficiently processed.

5. Accessibility: Can You Actually See Your Doctor?

This one’s big.

When you’re sick, will you see your doctor—or whoever’s available?

Can you get an appointment this week, or are you told to go to urgent care?

If the answer is the latter, it might be time to rethink your care model.

In Direct Primary Care, for example, my patients text me directly. They don’t get bounced between a call center, a nurse, and a portal. They get care when they need it, from someone who knows their story.

6. Communication: The Staff and the System

A great doctor surrounded by poor communication can still create frustration.

If you call and get voicemail loops, delayed responses, or forgotten messages, that’s not just “the system”—that’s a symptom of disconnection.

Your healthcare team should make it easy for you to ask, clarify, and feel supported.

If you’re constantly chasing results or updates, you’re doing their job.

7. Insurance: The Least Important Question

Here’s where I’ll ruffle feathers.

Most people start their search by asking, “Do you take my insurance?”

But I’ll challenge you—shouldn’t it be, “Do you take me seriously?”

If you find a doctor who truly listens and helps you feel your best, it’s worth asking a different question:

“How can I make this relationship work financially?”

That might mean finding an insurance that covers that doctor—or skipping insurance altogether and paying directly through a membership model like Direct Primary Care.

Because when you choose a doctor based on insurance, you’re letting insurance decide what kind of care you get.

The Bottom Line

Finding the right doctor is personal.

It’s okay to “try one out,” see how it feels, and decide whether it’s a match.

This isn’t about being picky—it’s about protecting your health.

Your doctor should make you feel heard, informed, and supported—not rushed or dismissed.

When you find that, you’ll know. Because medicine starts to feel like a partnership again.

If you’re ready for care that fits you—not your insurance company—let’s talk.

Schedule a time to talk to me directly HERE or share this blog with a friend who’s still searching for their doctor.

Because finding the right doctor can change everything about how you experience healthcare.